I knew an Allan who worked at a male strip club- his day job was a secret shopper for Kmart, he would masturbate in the circle racks of mens denim jeans. He had a bastard child with a female when he was 17 and she was 13.
Allan is my cousin’s uncle and lives in Alabama.

I’m totally kidding. I actually never met an Allan personally. I just wanted to tell an interesting story.